Interstate 20

I held him close as the cars went by. Their tires would crush the already-broken glass in their path as they inched by. Every once in a while, my eyes would meet those of someone passing and I wondered what they were thinking. I wondered if they knew how quickly it happens—how life changes in a moment. A child pressed his face against his window to see why the traffic moved so slowly. His eyes met mine and I looked away quickly, trying to protect him, hoping that by looking away, he would too. I looked down at the boy in my arms. He was not much older than the boy who’d just gone by. A few minutes ago, he too had probably looked just as sweet and innocent as that boy, this one in my arms.

He sucked in a breath as I drew him closer to me. His shivering was now something he couldn’t fight as the cold surrounded him inside and out. I looked down the length of his body and wished that my coat could cover him, shield him from what had happened. He tried to open his eyes, but they simply fluttered like butterfly wings, too weak to fight the rain drops that fell. I wondered for a moment if that was why I never saw butterflies in the rain when I was little. As the sound of the sirens grew louder, I whispered for him to hold on. I whispered to him and to God. For his life, I knew not to count on God, so I tried to will him to hold on until they could get to him. It was only a little while longer. I began to rock slowly believing that comfort would do more than stillness. I prayed that the heat of my body would warm him long enough. Wanting anything that could save him, I ate my crow and begged for God to please help him. It was not for me that I asked, I reminded Him. I opened my eyes to see him looking up at me. His eyes were grateful and aware. He looked at me and I pulled him into my chest, not wanting to know. I sobbed as I felt him being pulled away from me. Help had come.

I stood back and watched them work on him. I saw his foot move from side to side as they placed him on the stretcher and moved him into the back of the ambulance. His body only moved when they willed it. I knew. As their movements became frenzied, his became still. I turned to go sit in my car until someone needed me again. The rain beat deafeningly against the hood of my car.

The officer’s ring tapping on my window startled me. I loosened my grip on the steering wheel to roll the window down. My hands were numb - I kept hitting the passenger side button instead of my own. I finally got it right, but he wasn’t impatient. His wide-brimmed hat, with its plastic covering, was so appropriate for this weather. He asked if I knew the deceased. I told him what I had seen and that I couldn’t leave the boy alone on the side of the road like that. I had just pulled over and tried to help. I told him that I didn’t know what else to do. So I held him close as the cars went by.